Abuse

Afraid To Be Yourself

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If all your relationships were healthy or if all your relationships were abusive you’d actually kind of have a tough time figuring out whether your relationships with specific individuals were healthy or abusive. Of course the goal should be to surround yourself with people who support you and are concerned with your growth and happiness, but sometimes it takes an unhealthy relationship to shine a clear light on which qualities make for the healthy ones.

It can all get pretty confusing because none of us are perfect; even when we have the growth and happiness of the important people in our lives as front and center priorities we still drop the ball from time to time and of course they do the same with us. Since this fact sometimes makes it difficult to judge the health of a relationship, one way to get to the heart of the matter is to look internally instead of looking at concrete external behaviors.

Around which people are you afraid to be yourself? Do you censor your thoughts and ideas around these people? Are you always waiting for the other shoe to drop, feeling like you might say or do the wrong thing at any time? As a general rule, in healthy relationships we feel free and light. Unconsciously we know that we have some leeway, that we don’t have to be perfect all the time, that we can make mistakes without serious consequences. The balance of the relationship will still be one of love and growth, and this knowledge allows us to explore ourselves more honestly, helping us to actualize our best qualities.

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