Desperate For A Solution
When you are desperate for a solution you might think you are desperate for some variable in your external environment to change but what you are actually desperate for is to find relief from painful feelings of anxiety.
That existential anxiety is cued off by uncertainty. The antidote seems to be certainty in the form of a firm plan. Whether it’s someone else providing you with this plan or you coming up with it yourself is of secondary importance when you’re in that state of high anxiety.
But this puts you in a vulnerable place where you’re as likely to make a bad decision as a good one, which is why often the ‘solution’ is actually just becoming more comfortable with your discomfort, learning how to bear your painful feelings of anxiety so that you can expand your field of vision to eventually make the best choice for yourself rather than seizing right away upon whatever is presented to you.
When you’re desperate for a solution you’re easy prey for charlatans of all kinds. Like we said what they’re offering is not necessarily an objectively good solution but rather relief from existential anxiety. When you sense that desperation rising up within you, don’t just focus on the external variables that you believe are creating the problem. Focus on how it’s your internal state of discomfort that is acting as the true motor behind your need to find an answer right away. Remember that such times are when you most need your wits about you, when it’s most necessary to make the very best choice for yourself, which means opening yourself up to more possibilities and becoming more expansive in your thinking. This can only be accomplished if you learn to embrace your existential anxiety rather than try to shrug it off the moment it arises.