Individual Counseling
Road Map Metaphor
Metaphors can be useful to ground complicated concepts. The best teachers use metaphors all the time. We are going to develop a metaphor in this article to talk about therapy.
The metaphor is a road map. A map acts as a guide with various routes to get you to your destination, but it doesn’t tell you where to go. That’s for you to decide. The value of the map is that your awareness dramatically increases about your options. It’s more difficult to get lost and ultimately you save a lot of time. You will probably eventually reach your destination without one but not without a significant amount of distress and anxiety, and you’ll get lost many times.
I have my ideas about which route is the best, but obviously there are multiple ways to get to the same place and you can choose yours based upon your constitution and unique situation. Some want to take the scenic view. Some are in a huge hurry. Some want to get there as safely as possible on roads that are widely known and recognized. Others want to forge their own paths. It is not my place as a counselor to decide which route you should take.
The value of going to counseling with a knowledgeable psychologist is that the road map of your life becomes more clear. You get to bracket the decisions you make about your life within world renowned psychological theories. The more clear, accurate, and detailed the map is the better chance you will have to reach your destination.
Ultimately, the road map metaphor helps us remember that you are the one doing the driving, and you are the one who gets to choose the route. A good counselor’s job is to provide you with the best possible map.
Related posts:
- March of Years The most difficult realization for a human being, as Rollo May and Irvin Yalom would put it, is that life is not a never ending upward spiral. Decline, old age, and death wait for us all. You spend all this time climbing the mountain only to realize when you reach the summit that going up […]...
- Mountain Guide Metaphor We like to use metaphors to explain psychology and counseling because the process is complicated and often shrouded in mystery for the layperson. By using a metaphor we are all familiar with the shroud is lifted. The metaphor we will use today is that a good counselor is a mountain guide. A mountain guide cannot […]...
- Changes In Perception During Counseling I had a friend recently ask me if there were any commonalities in how clients perceive counseling sessions as they progress, and I didn’t have to think too hard about it because most go through the same basic sequence of stages. If you are currently in counseling or considering going it will be useful for […]...
- Grieving Many believe that everyone grieves in their own ways and there is no one correct way to do it. This idea is not exactly true though. The paradox is that there is a right way to grieve, but if you follow this right way then your grief experience will be singularly unique. Resist the temptation […]...
- Self-Advocacy “If there is one lesson that I have learned during my life as an analyst, it is the lesson that what my patients tell me is likely to be true – that many times when I believed that I was right and my patients were wrong, it turned out, though often only after a prolonged […]...
- Do Not Regret What You Were Never Prepared To Do There is a tendency to look back over life choices with a sense of regret at not having pursued a more difficult path that also might have been more rewarding. That ‘what if’ hangs over the present like a cloud. Other than the fact that living in the past is incompatible with the mindful attitude, […]...
- All or Nothing Thinking All or nothing thinking is a cognitive distortion that usually leads to dysfunction. This type of person sees himself and the world in extremes that leave little room for middle ground. He thinks in black and white and has a difficult time accepting the gray areas of life. Words like ‘always’, ‘never’, ‘failure’, ‘winner’, or […]...
- Spreading Yourself Too Thin Would you rather be a jack of all trades or wield true mastery over just one? The trap that a lot of talented people fall into is that they spread themselves too thin. They’re good at most things they try so they enjoy doing a lot of things. And that’s great up to a point, […]...
- Emotional Safety Net Tightrope walkers don’t just magically arrive at a state where they can traverse a space high above the ground with nothing below them to catch their fall. First they practice on a rope just a few feet above the earth. Then they graduate to the real thing, but with a safety net to catch them […]...
- Road Rage Whenever I see road rage and am not directly involved I can’t help but shake my head and laugh to myself at the ridiculousness of the situation. Could there be a response more out of whack with the actual provocation? Can you imagine a similar scenario between two people at an office or school? “I […]...
- Positive Side of Grief Quiet contemplation on a still evening lake. Sheets of rain pounding the earth. Deafening claps of thunder. Flashes of lighting above the treetops. The star speckled sky. The sound of the ocean. A cool breeze in a summer field. When I think of grief I often think of nature. This is because the nature of […]...
- Flexibility and Balance These are probably two of the most obvious metaphors you can apply from the practice of asanas to your life, but it doesn’t make them any less powerful. How could you spend time each day mindfully concentrating on both elements without starting to apply the concepts to everything else you do. Just like all of […]...
- Walking The Middle Road Of Change Living Life at Extremes Animals that live in extreme climates live anything but idyllic lives. Just surviving another day is the name of the game. Many of us live our lives at extremes too when it comes to all of those destructive behaviors we’re trying to eliminate or productive behaviors we’re trying to adopt. We swing […]...
- Autobots And Decepticons Talking about the Transformers movies with kids and adolescents is an excellent way to set a positive trajectory for counseling right from the beginning. Most children have seen the movies and they can relate in an archetypal way to some of the existential themes and to traits of the main characters. The trick is to […]...
- Grief And Growth Grief means you have lost something or someone dear to you. You desperately want that something or someone back although you know it’s impossible, so you desperately want what you see as the next best thing, which is to be rid of your painful thoughts and feelings around your loss. Approaching grief in this way […]...
- Knowledgeable Guide Imagine two scenarios. In the first you’re dropped into the middle of a vast wilderness with no supplies and no idea of where you are. In the second you’re dropped into the middle of that same vast wilderness but you’re accompanied by a knowledgeable guide who might never have been in that particular forest but […]...
- Going It Alone I often get asked by people struggling with life issues if therapy is really necessary or if they can find the solution to their problems on their own. This is a complicated question and the answer is that it depends. What it really comes down to is the quality of the therapeutic relationship and the […]...
- Spark Many who have become emotionally numb because of trauma, abuse, depression, grief, or any other reason worry that they have irrevocably lost the ability to feel deeply. Some have been numb for so long that the state has become their version of normal. It’s kind of like looking back on your distant past. You know […]...
- Use Traveling As A Time To Practice Mindfulness There is no better time to practice mindfulness than when you’re traveling. If you’re like most people, most of your attention is focused on getting to the destination, which means you’re living in the future not the present. You consider the journey to be an inconvenience. You just want to get where you’re going so […]...
- Searching As A Rationalization For Running Away From Commitment If we were to isolate the common psychological thread amongst most long-term travelers it’s that they consciously fancy themselves as searchers and see their searching attitude as a virtue where unconsciously they’re running away from any and all commitment and know on some level that their running away attitude is a vice. Whether you’re traveling […]...