Existential Psychology

Dwelling On Missed Opportunities

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People waste so much time dwelling on missed opportunities because they don’t want to let go, they can’t accept the finality of the situation, some small part of them still believes the past can be altered in order to get the desired result. So really awareness of a missed opportunity is no different from any situation of loss.

Loss calls for grieving and grieving calls for letting go of what was in order to make room for what is and what can be. When grief remains incomplete the lifeless past barges in, blotting out the living present.

The irony of dwelling on missed opportunities is that the attitude obviously stems from a place of wanting a good life result yet that very attitude makes a good life result for the remaining allotted years less likely since the balance of psychic energy is pointed towards and oriented around the past where things didn’t work out.

When the decision is taken to accept that the missed opportunities in question are gone and never coming back good things tend to happen. The trap that so many people fall into is to say to themselves ‘I had my chance and I blew it’ which obviously blocks out the recognition of new new chances as they appear. They end up spending so much time rehashing the past, ruminating over what might have been, ruing their bad luck, that ‘I had my chance and I blew it’ becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. The will to grow and achieve and make good things happen remains paralyzed until missed opportunities are grieved and then left behind in the past where they belong.