Pleasant Emotions While Grieving
We tend to put a lot of energy into trying to make our life experience conform to how we think things should be instead of how they actually are. In the context of emotions, we often repress the ones that don’t seem to fit the situation or we get down on ourselves for having them, and just like that the correct emotion slips through our fingers to be replaced with self-recrimination.
Here’s what happens to a lot of people who are grieving. They deal with painful emotions pretty much around the clock. Then a pleasant emotion comes along, something to make them laugh or fill them with joy, and instead of appreciating the reprieve they get down on themselves, as if they are betraying the person they have lost by not staying mired in sorrow.
Remember to allow those pleasant emotions while grieving to occur without placing any sort of value judgment on them. The painful emotions will be right there waiting for you, it’s not like letting yourself be happy for a period of time is going to change that. But the pleasant emotions will remind you that there is still a lot of good in life, and they will give you a much needed break from the hard work of moving through your grief.
Grieving the loss of a loved one is one of the hardest things we have to go through as human beings. Why make it any harder than it already is? Better to mindfully accept how you are feeling without trying to change it. When your emotions become more pleasant, for whatever reason, go with them instead of reminding yourself that you ‘should’ be feeling bad.