Behavioral Psychology

Decide What It Is You Really Want

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There’s the obsessive, unhappy type of driven where it’s like there’s an invisible pack of wild dogs constantly nipping at your heels. Then there’s the dedicated, happy type of driven where you feel pulled forward by what it is you love.

It seems to us that one of the key psychological differences between these two types of drives is that in the first case you know what you don’t want and you believe reaching the goal will save you from that unwanted fate, whereas in the second case you know what it is you do want and you believe reaching the goal will fulfill that wanted fate. In the first case your behavior is motivated by negative reinforcements while in the second case your behavior is motivated by positive reinforcements.

Our point? If you can, decide what it is you really want and put this desire at the center of what you’re doing, let your driven behavior be motivated by this self-actualizing pull, rather than focusing on all the things you don’t want and letting your driven behavior be motivated by avoiding these things, and you’ll be a lot happier in your life.

Greetings I'm Michael, the owner of Evolution Counseling and the author of all the articles on this site. I got my master's degree from Seattle University in community mental heath counseling and have committed myself to advancing my knowledge of psychology and to evolving my own philosophical system ever since. In addition to the content on this site I offer online coaching using Skype. If you'd like to learn more about it click on the online coaching tab or if you think you'd like to set up a session send me an email at

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