Love Is A State of Being
Almost everyone makes the error of starting with the object and then relating it back to themselves when thinking about love. They might love certain people, their jobs, a pastime. But when they start with the object they place themselves on precarious ground because if that object were to be lost to them, then love would be lost to them too.
It’s better to think of love as a state of being, as a readiness, an openness towards life and all the possibilities for profound connection that openness towards life entails. To prove this is a better way to formulate love, just think of the people you know who are loving. It’s their attitude that you are thinking of, their way of relating to others, and if someone they love dies they will of course be devastated but their loving attitude will not change.
When you focus on being a loving person rather than loving this or that specific object, love for those objects comes naturally anyway, but the difference is that the feeling is centered within you where it belongs rather than centered within the object of your love.