Abuse

Judging Others Harshly

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If you find yourself constantly judging others harshly it probably means that you were judged harshly, most likely by one of your primary caregivers. You can think of your attitude as an unconscious protective mechanism, a way to insure that you never again have to experience that emotional pain. If you are the one doing the judging, it makes you feel like you are in control of the situation,  and if you’re in control of the situation then you can’t be hurt.

But the judging attitude ends up hurting you just as bad, only in a different way. It keeps you from feeling connected. You’re wound up tight instead of open, critical instead of forgiving, weighted down by your judgments instead of free and light. If you are constantly judging others then your worldview will be tinged by negativity, a state that hurts you even more than the people who are on the receiving end since you’re around your negativity 24/7.

If you can relax your judgements and just let yourself observe what goes on around you, you’ll feel a lot better because you’ll feel lighter, and you’ll notice a lot of commendable behavior that used to escape your attention. It’s really all a matter of perception; you can look for the good and encourage it or look for the bad and discourage it.

Most of us are drawn to people who support and encourage us, yet we don’t necessarily realize that we can be supportive and encouraging too. If the idea seems to fit that judging others harshly is tied to the fact that you yourself have been judged harshly you can come to see that your protective mechanism is unnecessary since you are no longer a defenseless victim in that abusive situation. And the best way to make sure others view you in a positive light instead of judging you harshly is by being a positive, supportive, encouraging person who looks for and finds the best in people.

Greetings I'm Michael, the owner of Evolution Counseling and the author of all the articles on this site. I got my master's degree from Seattle University in community mental heath counseling and have committed myself to advancing my knowledge of psychology and to evolving my own philosophical system ever since. In addition to the content on this site I offer online coaching using Skype. If you'd like to learn more about it click on the online coaching tab or if you think you'd like to set up a session send me an email at evolve@evolutioncounseling.com.

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