Wanting Out Of A Relationship

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How many people all over the world are still in relationships they desperately want out of due to not wanting to hurt the feelings of their partners? So many, and what a bad reason to stay. On the surface it almost seems noble, a form of self-sacrifice, putting the needs of someone else before your own. But it’s not noble, it’s cowardly.

You only get one shot at life, time is short and once it’s gone you can’t get it back. The thing about a relationship where the only thing keeping you there is sensitivity to the other person’s feelings is that you aren’t just hurting yourself by staying, you’re hurting your partner too because he or she deserves a relationship based on authentic connection, real love, and honesty, and isn’t ever going to get those things with you. Your ‘concern’ for this person is actually deception.

Everyone knows how hard it can be to tell someone who really wants them that they aren’t wanted back, but the paradox is that if you really want to leave and you really do care about your partner’s feelings then the only real choice is to be honest and rip off that band-aid. Drawing things out will force your partner to waste a bunch of valuable time, the only currency that really matters, rather than being allowed to move on and find a relationship based on authenticity not lies.

Greetings I'm Michael, the owner of Evolution Counseling and the author of all the articles on this site. I got my master's degree from Seattle University in community mental heath counseling and have committed myself to advancing my knowledge of psychology and to evolving my own philosophical system ever since. In addition to the content on this site I offer online coaching using Skype. If you'd like to learn more about it click on the online coaching tab or if you think you'd like to set up a session send me an email at

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