Couples

Make A List Of Five Things You Want Your Partner To Do If You Die

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This article is especially relevant for couples nearing the end of their lifespans, where one partner will leave the other behind to try to move forward without the anchor that has offered support for so many years. But it’s a good exercise for anybody, a chance to strengthen your relationship by putting ephemeral hopes and dreams for someone you love into words. If you do die, the list will act as a powerful antidote against the hopelessness and lack of direction that will surely grip your partner while in the throes of grief.

Actually one of the biggest reasons that elderly people tend to pass away pretty quickly after losing their partners is precisely because they no longer feel like their lives have any meaning, they have no purpose to guide them, no reason to keep struggling through life. Making a list of five things you want your partner to do if you die can instill that sense of purpose, making it so that you really are walking next to this person in the journey through grief and towards carving out a happy life without you.

You might find that sharing your list with your partner helps you guys right now too. Taking the time to clearly formulate your hopes and dreams for the person you love will probably give that person some important things to consider, make you feel closer to each other, and maybe even spur you both to activate right now to try to reach those goals while you are both still alive. Here is a sample list:

1. I want you to reach the heights of your yoga practice that I know you are capable of.
2. I want you to train a therapy dog.
3. I want you to pursue a career that is meaningful to you.
4. I want you to travel around the world.
5. I want you to find a partner who is kind, loving, and fun.

Greetings I'm Michael, the owner of Evolution Counseling and the author of all the articles on this site. I got my master's degree from Seattle University in community mental heath counseling and have committed myself to advancing my knowledge of psychology and to evolving my own philosophical system ever since. In addition to the content on this site I offer online coaching using Skype. If you'd like to learn more about it click on the online coaching tab or if you think you'd like to set up a session send me an email at evolve@evolutioncounseling.com.

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