Narrative Therapy

Zergon 6

By  | 

We think and behave in certain ways and those around us tell stories about it based on what is objectively true but also on their perceptions. These narratives can have a tremendous impact on our lives. If we believe them we start to internalize the external narratives and the stories become us, which in turn influence the ways we think and behave. If we refuse to accept these stories we often face a difficult road because behaviors that fit into perceptions and expectations are much more likely to be noticed by others and reinforced than those that do not.

Let’s say for example that in a social encounter there are sixty data points that represent the transmission of information about who you are. Fifty of them you consider to be ‘you’ while ten are influenced by social pressure, being misunderstood, having an off moment or a bad day, or any other variable. For almost the entire encounter you acted in a way that synced up with your perception of yourself, but if only the ten instances are recognized that fall outside of this perception then the narrative told about you is not going to change all that much. Also the fifty data points you perceived as you might have been perceived differently by those around you and will act as further evidence for a narrative that you don’t believe fits.

I have often played a game with clients in therapy who are struggling with self-image that I call ‘Zergon 6’. First they are asked to come up with a list of around fifteen personality traits that they think describe them best. These traits are almost always negative but more importantly most of them are interpersonal. They are qualities like ‘mean’, ‘selfish’, ‘envious’ or ‘shy’. Our culture places a huge premium on individualism but no one exists in a bubble and we derive a tremendous amount of Self from how others perceive us, categorize us, and act towards us. After a while we start to identify with the role that may have been foisted upon us by family, work colleagues, friends, or acquaintances.

The next part of the exercise is to imagine landing on the mystical planet of ‘Zergon 6’ which is quite similar to earth except that you get to choose all your personality traits beforehand and this is how everyone there will perceive you. These traits are always much more positive and growth oriented, and usually include examples like ‘intelligent’, ‘compassionate’, ‘funny’, or ‘happy’.

I think where things really get interesting in this game is to go back to the idea in the second paragraph and realize that there are almost always a multitude of data points to support the reality of the wanted personality on ‘Zergon 6’. These data points occur both inside the therapy session and in the world at large. They aren’t always recognized or validated but they are real nonetheless. A major thrust of therapy from that point forward becomes positively reinforcing any moment in a session where the traits on the second list show up in the foreground and to help the client build a community around himself that can do the same.

Related posts:

  1. The Problem Is The Problem One of the most useful approaches in narrative therapy is the proposition that “You are not the problem. The problem is the problem.” Let’s imagine a female named Irene. She is in her 20’s and has always had issues with shyness. Since she was a young girl, she has had trouble connecting with classmates or […]...
  2. Problem With The Favorable Dominant Narrative Narrative therapists are concerned with deconstructing the rich tapestry of stories that make up social reality in order to help clients become aware that the way they see themselves, what we would call their dominant narrative, is not necessarily indicative of who they really are. There are usually a multitude of data points to contradict […]...
  3. Breaking Free Of Your Dominant Narrative There are certain stories told and retold about you that seem to be representative of who you are as a person. These stories embed traits and behaviors that might start off as concrete details regarding a concrete event but end up taking on mythical proportions as life goes on. They end up being representative not […]...
  4. Understand Narrative Therapy Human beings are story tellers. We understand the world and one another through stories, we recount events in order to make patterns out of the chaos. But these stories are by definition subjective, they represent particular points of view, of people influenced by time and place. They include some details while excluding others. Incidentally narrative […]...
  5. Power of Labels “Once you label me you negate me” -Soren Kierkegaard Narrative Therapy focuses on the power of storytelling. When you think about it for a moment you will realize there is a story that has been told about you since you were a very young child. The people around you have painted a limited picture of […]...
  6. Do Not Let Others Decide Your Identity For You Most of us end up defining ourselves by the stories told about us. The controlling environment is just too powerful. We end up inhabiting certain identities even when we know on some level that they don’t fit us. But after a shorter or longer struggle we finally surrender to the current. You can’t hope to […]...
  7. Body Of Evidence Most people agree that the first Matrix movie was awesome, the second was okay, and the third was a piece of garbage. Where things get interesting psychologically is that for many, the first movie is retroactively ruined or at least diminished in value because of the failures of the subsequent two. After looking at the […]...
  8. Testing Faulty Thinking We have talked about how maladaptive thinking leads to psychological and emotional distress. Faulty thinking is devious because it usually occurs on a subconscious level. You feel ruled in your life based on a set of objective realities that seem like they do not even need to be brought out into the light because they […]...
  9. You Define Who You Are Wrong perceptions have the power to influence the way you define yourself if you let them. The dominant narratives and labels foisted upon us are often biased and never tell the whole story because they reduce us to a narrow definition based on just a few data points. Yet many conform their thoughts and actions […]...
  10. Anxiety And Talking Too Much In Social Encounters When most of us think of social anxiety we think of shutting down, we think of talking very little, we think of becoming closed off, shy and unengaged. This is of course a common form anxiety takes but it also manifests on the other end of the spectrum as an almost compulsive need to fill […]...
  11. Narrative Therapy And The Power of Story Telling Human beings are story tellers.  Think back to your childhood and you can probably remember being captivated by a ghost story before bed or a tale told around the campfire.  Since the days of the caveman knowledge has been transmitted orally.  Indeed, in the span of human history information transmitted in written, analog, and digital […]...
  12. Do Not Let One Bad Data Point Ruin The New Narrative Whatever we place under the microscope gets larger. Or at least it seems to get larger; in actuality it remains the exact same size it always was. What this has to do with narrative therapy is that when people are in the process of constructing and living out new, more desirable, more productive life narratives […]...
  13. Documentation to Effect Change A valuable way to help the community at large see your preferred narrative is through the use of documentation. As sessions progress a new, preferred story about you and where your life is headed begins to take shape. Working as a team we craft the contents of this story into a written document and send […]...
  14. Narrative Therapy For Grief Grief is the multifaceted response to a change in a customary pattern of living. Thoughts and emotions are usually all over the map and there is also usually a great deal of ambivalence. The ephemeral, hard to pin down nature of grief makes narrative therapy, with its emphasis on externalizing conversations, ideally suited to help […]...
  15. Telling Your Story As The Expert Most therapists, regardless of the psychological theories they use, consider themselves to be experts, and rightfully so. The problem with this attitude is that as experts they feel that they are the ones with the access to the knowledge and wisdom that will help their clients improve. The role of the client in this context […]...
  16. Externalizing Conversations The central concept behind externalizing conversations in narrative therapy is that “you are not the problem, the problem is the problem.” It’s at once a simple and profound statement, a liberating way of looking at your life where you’re allowed some much needed space to breathe. You’re given permission to go about changing your life […]...
  17. Fun With Language When operating within a narrative framework one of the ways to raise awareness and ultimately effect change is through the purposeful manipulation of the English language. From the Narrative point of view, manipulation of language happens all the time anyway, except unconsciously and to the detriment of those who are unfairly labeled. We can play […]...
  18. Everybody Loves Narrative Therapy Therapeutic interventions using narrative therapy tend to instill heightened resolve to confront and overcome the various obstacles blocking growth and happiness. Clients leave conversations feeling invigorated and empowered. Everybody loves narrative therapy. One of the big reasons why is that the format prompts a role reversal where the therapist is not the center of power […]...
  19. Making Sense of Divorce When a person tries to make sense of the wreckage of a ruined relationship, the word counselors hear all the time is ‘failure’. There is usually more than enough blame to go around. Depending on the constitution of the person in question, blame will either focus on what he or she could have done differently, […]...
  20. Problem Saturated Story A central goal of narrative therapy is to help a client move away from the problem saturated story. This can be a challenging task because most people are entrenched in the thought pattern where the route to mental health necessarily means eradicating their problems by focusing on what is wrong with them. But from the […]...
Related Items